


Ford and Fidds vs. the Future

by Chasing_Crows



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Babies, Boyfriends, College, Difficult Decisions, Family, Forduary, M/M, Plans For The Future, Road Trips, Science Boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29643204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chasing_Crows/pseuds/Chasing_Crows
Summary: Forduary 2021 week three - road tripFord and Fidds take a road trip to Tennessee to visit Fiddleford's family, and they have a difficult conversation about what they each want for their futures.
Relationships: Fiddleford H. McGucket/Ford Pines
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Ford and Fidds vs. the Future

Ford was thankful Fiddleford was able to catch some sleep from the passenger seat; it gave him alone time he needed as he drove across the highway. Ford admitted he wasn’t the greatest driver, but since he didn’t actually have his license, he was rarely given the opportunity to get behind the wheel. They had skipped class on Friday to travel from Backupsmore to Tennessee, and after staying all day Saturday, they were back on the road early next morning so they could attend class on Monday. As much of a mental break this should have been for him, though, Ford was eager to get back to school so he could throw himself at his work again. After spending all weekend meeting and interacting with new people, mindless driving was perfect for letting his emotional battery recharge.

This had been his first time meeting Fiddleford’s family. They made the special trip to visit his older sister, Laura, who had her first baby last month. Fiddleford introduced Ford as his friend from school, explaining it was better to have a buddy along for a long road trip. His family was incredibly kind, but Fiddleford did not want to come out about his relationship in fear of judgement or rejection. Ford agreed, and it wasn’t like the two of them weren’t used to pretending to be no more than friends around everyone else.

Ford was restless, and since breakfast had been hours ago, he searched for a promising exit to take a break at. After a few miles, a gas station at the edge of a small town caught his eye, and in pulling off the highway, the slowing of the truck roused Fiddleford. “Huh, where are we?”

“We’ve still got a while to go,” Ford said, “but I need to stretch my legs. And fill my stomach.”

Fiddleford leaned over to check the fuel gauge. “Might as well fill up the tank, too.”

“I’m already one step ahead of you.” Ford parked at the gas station and took a long stretch in the sun. “You fill up, and I go in and ask if there’s good food nearby?”

“Sure,” Fiddleford said. Ford tossed over the keys and made his way inside.

Not five minutes later, they were headed to a diner supposedly a few blocks away, Fiddleford driving and Ford navigating. French fries sounded good, and Ford already planned on having a few cups of coffee. They found the diner without any difficulty, and when they entered were met with a typical, inviting small town atmosphere. They sat in a corner booth and got double orders of coffee, fries, chicken sandwiches, as well as a vanilla milkshake for Fiddleford. Ford was impatient for the food to arrive, but it felt good to be out of the truck in the meantime.

Once their food was ready, Fiddleford took one of his fries and dipped it in his milkshake. “That’s weird,” Ford said, pointing. His boyfriend’s food preferences never failed to baffle him.

“Is not.” Fiddleford popped it in his mouth and grinned. “You’re weird.” He took another and dipped it, keeping eye contact all the while.

Ford shook his head, and as he was about to eat a fry of his own, Fiddleford snuck his into Ford’s mouth instead. He coughed and glared at his partner, but after chewing and swallowing, he realized it wasn’t half bad. Sticking to his resolve, though, he made an exaggerated expression of disgust.

“I know you’re fakin’,” said Fiddleford. Ford wouldn’t relent, though, and he grabbed his boyfriend’s shake and took a gulp to pretend to get the taste out of his mouth. “Dirty thief,” Fiddleford said, but he still smiled.

“You know, when we first met, I figured all McGuckets must be strange, but after meeting the rest of them I know you’re an extra special case.”

“Hey now, was that a dig at all o’ us, or me specifically?”

“No comment,” Ford said.

“Well, _I_ think we’re perfectly fine folks.” Fiddleford sighed. “I just wish we had more time to spend with them, especially little Johnny- he’s the sweetest.”

“Yeah, but we can always visit another time. It doesn’t seem like they’re going anywhere.”

“I know, but Johnny’ll grow up in a blink. Next I see him, he’ll be a completely different baby. You know that, what with your little brother and all.”

“Yeah, but Shermie was born shortly before I left for college. I didn’t have a lot of time with him or anything.”

“That’s too bad.” Fiddleford looked at his plate. “Do you miss him?”

Fiddleford knew his family was a touchy subject, but Ford couldn’t blame him for being curious, considering how important his own family was to him. His boyfriend talked about them often, but actually seeing Fiddleford with his family brought out a side of him Ford had never known before. At Backupsmore, the two of them were definitely outcasts, but they preferred their own company and studies to those of the partiers, fraternities, sports teams, and other groups that came together on campus. However, this was the first time Ford had seen Fiddleford a part of a group he fit in so effortlessly with. It made Ford happy to see his boyfriend not just at ease, but thriving in the midst of so many McGuckets.

“Not really. It was weird to have a brother so much younger than me after-,” _after only being Stan and him for so long_. “After not having any younger siblings for so long.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. My house was always packed growin’ up- siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews- it’s weird to think of home without ‘em.”

Ford understood. “Yeah, well, our families are pretty different.” He took a drink of coffee.

“Well,” said Fiddleford, “I just hope when I have kids they can be close to my folks, too. There’s somethin’ pretty formative about havin’ a gaggle of kids to run around with all day when you’re young.”

In the back of his mind, he knew this conversation would need to happen eventually; their relationship was serious enough, after all. Since they were visiting Fiddleford’s baby nephew, he guessed he shouldn’t be surprised it was happening now, but it didn’t make it any easier for Ford. He cleared his throat. “So, you want kids someday?”

“I- yeah.” Fiddleford looked at him. “I reckon I do.”

After seeing him fawn over the baby yesterday, Ford figured as much. He held Johnathan with the ease of someone who had handled many babies in his lifetime, and Fiddleford knew exactly how to shift or adjust him to be most comfortable, all while keeping up casual chatter with his family. He was nonchalant yet confident, and cradling the tiny boy made him light up in a way that was new to Ford- a quiet kind of bliss, something that made Fiddleford’s daily anxieties and worries fade away.

Of course he wanted to be a father someday. Ford didn’t know how to respond, so he simply nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. Fiddleford took advantage of the moment and pressed the conversation further. “Stanford… do you want kids?”

He took his time chewing before answering, thinking back on the days Stan and he had been stuck with babysitting duty. Stan was more natural with their brother, and he enjoyed their time together in a way Ford never could. Shermie’s crying always seemed to make Ford more anxious than the infant was himself, and his rocking and bouncing of the baby was an effort to calm them both. He was in constant fear of dropping or hurting him somehow, and any tenderness he gave Shermie felt forced. Babies made him go rigid. Remembering how Fiddleford was with Johnny and Stan was with Shermie, they seemed to melt in their presence and somehow tune into what the babies were trying to say. He simply could not do the same.

“Umm, not really. I just- it’s never something I’ve envisioned for myself.” He scratched his neck. “It’s not that I dislike children, but I don’t feel any affection or desire for them. I- I just don’t think it’s for me.”

Fiddleford nodded solemnly, his face revealing nothing. Ford didn’t want to hurt his partner, but he couldn’t lie, either. Sticky silence hung between them.

While still in school, his focus was graduating early and moving onto graduate school. He didn’t think of what that would mean for him and Fiddleford. Of course he wanted to stay with his boyfriend, but Ford never imagined a life with him to be particularly domestic. And children? Well, as two men, he had just assumed that wouldn’t happen. Of course there was adoption, but Ford had never given it a passing thought since he wanted to devote his life wholly to science. That, and Fiddleford. If they stayed together, though, could he deny his partner something he wanted, something that clearly brought him joy?

“Fidds?” Ford said.

“Yeah?”

“You’d make a good father.”

His boyfriend’s expression softened. “Thank you, Stanford.” Neither one had more to add, so they worked on their food in order to get on the road again.

They paid for their meals and left a tip before returning to the truck. Once on the highway, Ford gathered up his courage to plunge back into serious conversation, yielding to the pressure of attempting to ease any apprehension between them. “I’m sorry.”

“Why’re you sorry?”

“I’m sorry if I can’t be enough for you. I- I don’t really have a plan for my future, but as long as I’m pursuing science, I think I’ll be alright. I don’t know what I’ll do or where I’ll end up, but- I don’t think I want to be a father. It- I, I just want you to know.” He held his breath and waited for Fiddleford to say something.

“I can’t say I know where I’m goin’, either. Honest, I’m still gettin’ over the fact I got to go to college in the first place. I wanna keep learnin’, too,” he said, “but, when I think of my future, I want a family. I can’t make any promises, either, but that’s what I see.”

“I guess I took for granted you’d want the same life I do. I feel stupid for not considering otherwise. I just want things to be easy.”

“I want it easy, too.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t want to think of losing Fiddleford, not after losing Stan. The prospect of going onto life after college- everything different, everything changing- all alone, it sent ice through his veins. Of course he came to Backupsmore by himself, but now that he’d found Fiddleford, he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye. “So, what now?”

“I don’t know,” Fiddleford said.

Ford’s throat bunched up, but he had to ask, had to know. “Do you want to leave me?”

“No, I don’t want that.” Hurt leaked through his voice.

“Me either.”

The world flew past outside their windows while they sat, suspended in the moment.

“Fiddleford?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” Ford said.

“I love you, too.”

Ford took his right hand off the wheel and rested his arm across the center console. Fiddleford’s left hand found his, entwining their fingers together. Ford’s eyes focused on the road ahead, and he gave Fiddleford’s hand a squeeze, hoping it was enough to somehow convey the words he wasn’t able to find.


End file.
